It was about 2 a.m., phone glowing on my face. I typed four words that would change everything: “how to be happy.”
I should’ve been asleep. By every external measure, life was good. Loving wife, Suzy, asleep beside me? Check. Five great kids and five grandbabies? Check. Good friends, a boat, a home near the ocean? Check. Every box on the “life is okay” checklist was ticked. And still I lay there, eyes open, stuck on a question my degrees and decades hadn’t answered.
I spent my career designing technical frameworks and data tools to help business leaders make smart decisions. So I did the only thing that made sense. I pointed that lens inward. Could the lessons of happiness be turned into something clear, usable, and repeatable?
My mind wasn’t broken; it had just been handed a problem it wasn’t trained to solve.
That late-night question became a project: to apply my data-driven methods to the messier puzzle of my own head.
I had read shelves of self-help books, but the truth is I couldn’t even remember which ones I’d read, let alone many of their takeaways. So I went back to the search bar with a more specific question. Could happiness be boiled down to a science? I wasn’t looking for a quick fix. I was looking for rules I could count on.
Scrolling for something concrete, I found Dr. Laurie Santos and her podcast, The Happiness Lab. The next morning, with Yeti, our golden retriever, chasing waves beside me, I started collecting insights. I eventually devoured more than 200 episodes. The science was fascinating, but I hit a familiar wall. The information was falling out of my head almost as fast as it was going in. I needed a system.
So I did what any data-obsessed dad would do. I built a spreadsheet. What began as a simple tracking tool quickly grew into a full-on research project. I cross-referenced podcast insights with dozens of books spanning decades, used technology to dive deeper, and organized everything by category with clear action steps.
My poor kids, bless their patience, humored me by reading that spreadsheet as I dug up new “treasures.” Suzy would joke about my disappearing acts, but she also saw that it was working. I was becoming calmer, more present, and happier.
Then I started noticing the same quiet struggle everywhere. My kids, now adults, facing their own challenges. Friends scrolling anxiously on their phones. You know the look, the glazed-over, thumb-scrolling trance we all pretend we don’t do. Coworkers burned out despite hitting every marker of the American Dream. I realized this project wasn’t just for me anymore.
Emailing my cluttered spreadsheet to the people I cared about felt as personal as sending a carrier pigeon with a pie chart. That’s when the feeling arrived. Not a tidy thought, but an absurd, terrifying, undeniable prompting from the heart: this needs to be a book. Me? The guy who considers listening to a book on Audible “reading”? It felt like being signed up for a marathon I didn’t know I’d entered. But I laced up my shoes and decided to run anyway.
You’re holding the book that didn’t exist at 2 a.m., the one I desperately needed. A research-backed toolbox of daily happiness practices you can actually use. Each tool is grounded in science, tested in real life, and simple enough to use when your brain is running on fumes. I’m not a happiness guru. I’m a stubborn, data-driven dad who refused to quit until this book included only tools with solid evidence of real-world impact.
You’ll notice this book is called Your Happier Life Toolbox, not Your Happy Life Toolbox. That’s intentional. Chasing “happy” as a final destination is a trap. Becoming happier is a journey we can all start today.
That 2 a.m. search didn’t give me an answer; it started the right journey. Now it’s your turn.
Your happiness is not a solo project; it’s a public service. In a world starving for connection and drowning in anxiety, your calm is contagious. Your patience can de-escalate a conflict. Your vulnerability gives others permission to be real.
This isn’t just about feeling better; it’s about being better. It is about calming your own home, strengthening your workplace, and healing your small corner of the world. This is how we change our world. Not through grand gestures, but through the cumulative impact of ordinary people committing to the radical act of choosing joy.
And if a weird, data-driven, spreadsheet-building dad from Jersey can figure this out, trust me. You’ve got this.
I’ve already built your first tool: an online hub with resources, guided practices, and a community of fellow builders at www.yourhappier.life.
For now, let’s get to work.